Building your virtual self is a useful exercise even if - like me - you have no intention of buying any of the clothes featured. You can dress yourself up like a tressy doll and see what sorts of things might suit you without going to the time and trouble of actually trying stuff on and getting hot and sweaty in the process (ye gods, who enjoys this?). It also allows you to gain some objectivity because you see yourself full-on as it were, like you do in a photograph, rather than allowing you to focus on your 'bad' bits.

My virtual self is on My Virtual Model, which features clothing from H&M, Sears and Levis among others. You just type in your weight and height, along with another few statistics, upload a full-face picture, and you're ready to play. My image ended up pretty accurate, as it happens. I'm slightly less broad shouldered than my avatar and I have chubbier knees, but otherwise it's bang on. As you can see in these pictures, I cocked up the photo cropping, so I have a bit of a square head.

I was thinking about looking for a new dress for summer, but nothing featured looks right on me. This is the problem when you're 5ft 1 and the clothes are designed for someone eight inches taller. Just look at that disaster in the middle - can't imagine where I'd put my bra straps. Clothes like this are the reason why I got handy with a needle - patterns are way too large, waistlines hit in the wrong place, cuffs are too long, cropped pants end up at my ankle, jackets come to mid-thigh instead of mid-hip. Also, because I have what is laughingly called an hourglass figure, it's absolutely crucial that my clothing delineates my waist or I appear like a solid block - tunics, long shirts, smock tops, loose dresses are not for me. And look at these terrible necklines - a woman of my age needs a bit more help than this, s'il vous plait.

As ever, even mucking about virtually, I found that I came back again and again to the kind of clothes I wear every day - simple flared or bootcut trousers and a fitted top with some neck interest. The top and jeans at bottom left are from H&M and I'd buy them if I didn't already own shedloads of stuff just like this. But just for fun, and to illustrate a point, I dressed myself in some really bad clothes too.

Here (right) is a look that many middle-aged women wear which is a classic mistake - the full, long, gathered skirt and comfy top. Nothing makes a woman look frumpier. I chucked all my full skirts out a year or two ago in favour of shorter, flirtier options (and the reason back then was a photograph that made me look about two feet tall). As you get older, you MUST wear more body-conscious clothing if you want to look at all sexy. If possible, the top is even worse than the skirt: everything about it is wrong - it's too voluminous, the sleeves are too short and wide, and it hits the body in the wrong place. Even trying on this clothing in real life would be a recipe for depression - you'd have to pig-out on cheesecake afterwards.

Playing with your virtual image is also a good way to 'try on' different jeans styles. Here you can see here the difference between a flared leg jean, a skinny leg jean and a classic bootcut - the skinny leg jean in the middle doesn't look bad (though in real life I'd I look like a pig on stilts, as does any woman who has hips or an arse - ie: most of us). But this style of jean accentuates you at your widest point, which is never a good idea. In a bootcut trouser, as seen in the chinos at right, the wider hem balances out your hips and bum - a much more flattering look, but the best option for me by far is the flared jean, from H&M.

I like the bag though. Red goes with everything and I need a new one for summer as my old one fell apart, so I might even treat myself to that...

The BBC is running a story today entitled 'The end of cheap clothes is near'.

It was obvious this was going to happen. With a worldwide rise in food prices, not only will everyone from east to west have to curb their clothes-buying to stretch the family budget, land that is currently producing cotton will turn back to food production as the prices for food crops increase.

Every which way, clothing is going to cost more to produce. Even third and second-world workers have seen wage rises over the past few years (gee - I thought they were going to eat straw forever), fertiliser costs are rising, and as transport costs increase because of the oil crisis, clothing will cost more to ship from production site to retail outlet. That means the price increase will be loaded onto individual garments at retail level, so we will be able to buy fewer of them.

Getting on my puritan high horse here, I can't help thinking that a bit of this could be a very good thing. Spending has gotten totally out of control in the UK and - let's face it - most women in the west have a problem of surplus clothing rather than not enough. 'Not having a thing to wear' isn't due to there being nothing in the wardrobe, just to our crappy impulse-buying habits that fill our closets with unmatched crap that dates badly, wears out or doesn't go with anything else.

Many women I know in London buy something new to wear every week. Some buy something almost every day. They pick up a new item at lunchtime like a sandwich, they have a bag for every outfit, they have 40 pairs of shoes. We have become individual Imelda Marcos's.

In contrast, when I was growing up in the far-off days of the 1970s (in a working-class family), you expected to get a new coat maybe once a year. If you could, you stretched it further - my school uniform required a navy wool coat, which I wore every school day for the whole five years I was there, letting down the sleeves as I grew (marginally) taller. If you had older brothers and sisters, you got their hand-me downs as they grew out of them, and if you didn't, friends and neighbours could be relied upon to pass around their kids' barely-worn clothing so that some good would come of it. Most of all, you learned to be handy with a needle if you wanted to look more individual.

Nobody wants to go back to the days of - for instance - wartime rationing, but at times, a little necessity can be the mother of invention. If we all have to be a bit more careful about what we buy and how often, maybe women will relearn those good old habits of looking for quality of design and construction, a good fit and high-end materials. Maybe they'll learn to ring the changes with accessories instead of whole outfits. Maybe they'll learn to mix and match their clothing to wear the same thing in a different way, and end up with a small wardrobe of fully-co-ordinated clothing, every item of which they actually wear.

Well, I for one hope so...

At this point I have to admit to thanking heaven that I live in France. Here, women are considered sexy until they drop off the twig. Even the oldest, fattest French women have access to gorgeous lingerie (the amount of lovely things in the sizes 20 and above that I found in my local lingerie shop last year was quite an eye-opener) and the great French icons of sexuality such as Jeanne Moreau and Catherine Deneuve are well into their 60s and 70s.

But we all know that desirability is not the province only of the young. More mature women have more to offer - more experience, more confidence, more earthiness. The problem is, the sexy clothes that worked for you through your 20s, and perhaps even your 30s, may no longer fit the bill - too young for you, too cute and girly, a tad mutton-dressed as lamb, or - conversely - ever-so-slightly frumpy.

So your 40s is the time to think about sexing up your look. Subtlety is the key. Forget trying to draw the kind of man who finds Pamela Anderson attractive - you can't compete here so this is no longer your 'market', so to speak. You need to be far more restrained and sophisticated in your style. Aim at the man with his brains above his waist.

For inspiration, take a look at older women whose style you admire - in my case, it's women like Charlotte Rampling, Lauren Hutton, Kristin Scott-Thomas and Juliette Binoche. What these women have in common is not only that they are beautiful and in good shape, it's that their sexuality is on a leash - they don't put all their goods in the shop window.

What clothing is sexy?

Think for a moment about what characterises men's clothing. Firm fabrics, crisp edges, dark colours, a lack of pattern. Men's clothes are practical and hard-wearing first and foremost, they are not made to attract the opposite sex. Other than sportswear, they also tend to hide the body rather than showing it off.

What makes women's clothing sexy is precisely its difference from this - and the more different it is, the sexier it gets.

For instance, dresses and skirts are inherently sexier than trousers, because men don't (with certain exceptions) wear skirts and dresses and these are therefore 'feminine' garments in a man's mind. They also offer a man access - or at least implied access - in a way that trousers don't.

The same applies to items such as high heels, suspenders and stockings - to men, these items are indissolubly linked with female sexuality. And again with certain fabrics, such as lace, satin, silk knits and angora, and certain colours such as feminine pastels.

Buying sexy

When you want to buy sexy clothing, touches to look for include:

* Soft or strokable fabrics such as chiffon, voile, velvet, satin, angora and cashmere - anything that feels nice when you caress it. In contrast, tweeds, cotton drill, canvas and flannel are the antithesis of sexy.

* Lace edging - this breaks up the line where the garment meets the flesh, giving a prettier outline. Also look for broderie anglaise, embroidery and crochet, which have a similar effect. Lace detailing on a skirt or top is inherently feminine.

* Transparent edging - contrast or toning chiffon or organza at the sleeve, wrist, waist or hem of a garment.

* Feminine embellishments, such as subtle beading or a line of sequins along a seam. Don't overdo the sequins, though - not only can this look brassy, it makes you less cuddly and touchable.

* Transparent layers - multiple layers of chiffon or organza, lace, or transparents over solids. This is particularly effective if you combine it with a nude-colour lining, which give the look of flesh without actually revealing any.

* Nude-colour clothing, particularly in camisoles, blouses and dresses and especially when combined with soft fabrics such as silk.

* Bedroom colours such as peach, baby pink, pale blue, lilac and eau-de-nil - these are traditional lingerie colours and always carry a hint of the boudoir.

* Red or black clothing, in lace or transparent fabrics (these colours don't work so well in solid fabrics).

* Wrapped garments - such as tie-sided cardigans, wrap dresses and sarong skirts. These give a promise that you might be just as easily unwrapped. Other than dressing-gowns, male clothing does not generally wrap, so wrap clothing is inherently feminine.

* Garments that fasten with ties - inherent here is the possibility of those ties coming undone. They are especially effective if the ties are in a contrasting fabric such as satin, chiffon or velvet ribbon.

* Garments that fasten with lots of buttons: the more - and the smaller - the better. A dress with myriad tiny buttons from neckline to hem is particularly effective.

* An element of surprise, such as a deep v-back on a demure dress, or a revealing dress under a cover-up jacket.

* Slits and splits - these don't have to be crotch-revealing. A four-inch split on a knee-length skirt is more alluring than a mini.

* A touch of exoticism - a jacket with Chinese embroidery, a sari-fabric skirt, a kimono sleeve. Keep your references high-end and you'll add a touch of allure to your look. Don't choose democratic references like mompe trousers or overalls.

* Flounces. Important, this - flounces, not frills or pleats. A flounce differs from a frill because it's cut on a curve and then attached to a straight edge. It therefore ripples in a much more subtle and grown-up way. It's womanly, not girlish.

* Bias cuts - if you have the figure for this, then make the most of it. Bias cutting causes fabric to cling to the body in a subtle way and makes the most of your curves.

Wearing sexy

How you wear your clothes is as important as what you wear. To start with, buy the right size. Your clothing should slip comfortably around your body, not weld you into place (unless you're going for the bondage look, in which case this article is not really for you anyway).

Leave your ties and buttons undone - try a tie-neck blouse left open to the waist over a cami, or a button-down skirt with the bottom few buttons left unfastened. This is reminiscent of Herrick's 'sweet disorder in the dress' - a completely buttoned-up look is offputting, not sexy.

Allow a slash-necked top to slip unconsciously off one shoulder (and make sure that's a shiny, polished shoulder with no spots or dry skin).

Wear a contrasting top and bottom, such as a soft angora jumper with a businesslike pencil skirt, or contrasting layers, such as a tailored jacket over a lace body. This gives a suggestion that your sexiness just can't help but slip out no matter how hard you try...

Turnoffs

There are plenty of turnoffs and most of them are to do with simply being unsophisticated.

* Allowing your bra straps to show. There's really no excuse for this. Log onto Figleaves and take a look at the different styles available - halter, deep plunge, invisible straps, no-bra bras. There is something to suit every style of top imaginable. If you really HAVE to show your bra straps, make sure they're pretty and lingerie-like, and in a nice colour.

* Visible panty line. It might be sexy on a 20-year-old, but on a middle-aged woman it just looks crap. Wear proper, form-fitting shorties, knickers or thongs in the correct size. And avoid thongs if you carry weight or cellulite on your backside - you can see it right through lightweight clothing.

* Very tight, short or low-cut clothes. Even if you have an enviable figure, wearing your clothes too tight, too high or too low-cut smacks of desperately clinging onto your youth, and it fools nobody. The trick is not to try to look younger per se, but to look vibrant, sexy, interesting - good for the age you are now, not the age you used to be.

* Hard-edged looks - biker chick, rock chick etc. OK, it looks right on Cher and Chrissie Hynde, but let's be realistic about the rest of us who are not stage performers. It's time to kiss goodbye to the black leather, fishnet tights, scrunch boots and all the other paraphernalia of youth, and start dressing like a grown-up. If you don't, you risk looking like someone's grandmother.

Individual items

Skirts - choose split, wrap, sarong-style or circle skirts in soft fabrics such as low-sheen satin, silk velvet or chiffon. Try a flirty hem, such as a built-in lace petticoat or a fine line of beading. Skirts that fit to mid-thigh and then kick out to the knee are very sexy when you walk - take a look at Boden's offerings, including their 'Secretary' skirt. Also consider standard skirts, such as pencil designs but in unusual fabrics such as low-sheen lame.

Tops - try a deep v neck over a lace-edged camisole in contrasting or toning fabric - this way you achieve a plunge look without risking falling out. Transparent layering or soft, draping fabrics such as chiffon, washed silk or low-sheen satin work well. For details, think of slits in the upper arm or at the cuff, fluted sleeves, which make your wrists look delicate, or three-quarter sleeves that hide beefy upper arms while showing off narrow wrists. Wrap tops can be used to show off your bust and waist (don't wrap them too tightly). Sweaters in soft knits such as cashmere, silk and angora are great seduction garments, especially when combined with feminine details such as lace cuffs.

Dresses - choose feminine styles such as wrap, halterneck (with a good supporting bra), full-skirted shirtwaists in soft fabrics etc, and - if you can find that rare beast - dresses with chiffon sleeves. Button-down dresses in any style are effective man-magnets, and a sweater dress can also work well, in a thinnish soft knit.

For daytime, keep your skirts at around knee length, give or take a couple of inches. If your legs are in superb condition, your best spot might be as much as 2-3 inches above the knee (but not crotch-grazing). If you have chubby legs, it might be an inch below the knee. If you don't feel comfortable showing your legs, consider knee-length boots as a cover-up, but keep the skirt knee length - fill the gap with heavy-denier tights or stockings. For evening, skirts can be longer and/or wider and work well in fabrics such as satin or velvet. Avoid business fabrics such as wool.

Shoes - no escaping it here, high heels are the killer shoes when it comes to sexy. If you're not comfortable in heels, try an evening boot in satin or suede(ette), which gives you more support at the ankle and calf. If you have to stick to flats, go for feminine finishes such as lace, a soft metallic leather or satin in a ballet flat, or a kitten heeled-shoe in a jewel colour. If you can find them, 'nude' shoes with transparent heels or straps are very sexy.

Legwear - tights and stockings should be sheer and a little sheen doesn't go amiss either. Avoid heavy patterns, heavy deniers, matt finishes, and colours other than black or nude. If you can find them, tights with a touch of glitter (such as a butterfly design) at the ankle are very flirty, especially when worn with an otherwise plain garment. For stockings, lace tops are sexier than plain tops, but avoid stay-ups. Not only can these cause allergies to some women (me included), they dig into the flesh of most women's thighs, which is a profoundly unsexy look.

Jewellery - try long strings of pearls or other beads with glitter or a sheen (ie: not wooden, ethnic etc) and knot them just above your bra line (don't do this on a full bust). Or try a dangly, shimmering clip fastened at bust level. Long earrings that brush your shoulders as you turn are very sensual, but make sure you wear your hair short or up, so's not to get tangled.

Trousers are a harder act to pull off, but a full or flared trouser in a soft fabric such as silk velvet or satin can be very sexy, as can multi-layered trousers in chiffon. One wardrobe item that never dates in its pulling power, however, is 'Le Smoking', the tuxedo cut for women and popularised by Marlene Dietrich back in the 1930s and again by Yves St Laurent in the 1960s. In black, with a single-button jacket and satin lapels, it can be worn over a blouse or camisole, or just your undies if you're brave enough, and it lends an air of both perversity and sophistication for evening.

All clothing pictured is available from La Redoute.

In Part 1 of this article I looked at how to work out which clothes you're actually wearing. Your clothes have now had a month to prove their usefulness and it should be pretty apparent which ones you're NOT wearing, so we'll now look at these.

Sort it out

Leave aside anything you didn't wear for seasonal reasons (linen dresses in winter, leather jackets in summer, etc). Then take out one set of summer-weight and one set of winter-weight scruff clothes, in which you can dye your hair, shave the cat or do whatever other rough work you need to do. What else is left?

If you're anything like me, your hanging rail of unworns contains mostly tailored items and evening wear - suit jackets, skirts and pants, velvet shirts and skirts, lightly beaded items etc, coats hung for storage. So, get out your notes and ask yourself the following questions of each garment:

* Does it fit me?

* Is it comfortable?

* Do I love it?

* Does it suit my lifestyle?

* Does it flatter me?

If the answer to ANY of these questions is 'no', my advice is to chuck it. And I know that's hard (because, like Mark Twain, I've done it hundreds of times...). So get yourself two big cardboard boxes and label them 'chuck now' and 'pending', plus have a third one (preferably smaller) labelled 'sentiment'. Into the 'chuck now' box, obviously, go all the things that are definite no-nos. Into the 'pending' box go things that you think are wrong but that you're not quite sure of - this you will throw away in a year's time. Into the 'sentiment' box go the things that you'll never wear again but that you really can't bear to part with - we'll deal with this issue another time.

Now, get going.

It doesn't fit you

If you haven't worn something because it doesn't fit you, is it because you're gaining weight, or losing weight, or because your weight is fluctuating? Or are you hanging on to an idea of yourself that isn't real?

* If you are gaining weight, you need to deal with that as a separate issue if you're not happy with it. Meanwhile, DON'T hang onto, and especially don't WEAR clothes that are too small - not only does it look terrible, it's very depressing. You itch, you're sore, you're cut about. It is far better to accept your real size than to squeeze yourself into clothing that is too tight.

If anything is two sizes too small, chuck it. You can't make this stuff work even if you alter it and by the time you've lost all that weight like you're planning to, it won't be in fashion anyway. If you really do feel that you've only gained a pound or two temporarily and you're going to lose it (yeah, 'course you are), the clothes in your wardrobe that will give you mileage are knits, fabrics with stretch and skirts or pants with an elastic waistband at the back (at the back only, please). Chuck out the rest, especially anything with zips you can't do up or buttons you can't fasten.

Now, instead of whimpering about what you can't wear, invest in some decent modern shapewear, including bras, and Spanx pants if you fancy them, which will take pounds off you while hoisting your bust and backside into the right positions.

* If you're losing weight for no apparent reason and are not either desperately in love or terribly active, a visit to the doctor might be in order. But if you are losing weight because you're dieting, don't continue to hang onto clothes that are too big - this is the person you were, not the person you are now and you'll just depress the crap out of yourself. No, of course most women can't afford to replace an entire wardrobe in one hit, so again invest in simple knits and fabrics with stretch while you're dieting, which will tide you over a size or two either way. As a tip, garments should fit at your shoulderline - if they're dropping down your arm, they're too big - throw them away.

* If your weight fluctuates, as it does for many women with their period or seasonally, then take account of this in your wardrobe. If you gain weight in winter, consider simply buying your winter clothes a size bigger than your summer ones. If you retain water before your period and just need tiding over the odd 'fat' day, invest in a couple of skirts and a couple of pairs of trousers in dark colours made from either stretch fabrics such as jersey or with an elasticated waistband at the back.

It's uncomfortable

Uncomfortable clothing is like a stone in your shoe. If you're not-wearing this stuff for any of these reasons, chuck it out:

* It itches.

* It restricts your stride.

* It cuts you up the crotch.

* It cuts your waist when you sit down.

* It gives you a muffin top.

* It hurts your feet.

* It leaves marks on your skin.

* It gives you thrush.

* The cuffs get in the way.

* You're constantly adjusting yourself and pulling yourself about.

Life is too short to be uncomfortable - especially when you've PAID for it.

You don't love it

This is a really tricky category, because all of us have clothes that are fit for their purpose and that we may even wear a lot, but that in our heart of hearts we don't really like. But hanging onto clothing that you don't love is a first-class ticket to a fashion rut. Brenda Kinsel in her book 40 Over 40 says that when you open your wardrobe, everything in it should say: "Wear me, wear ME!!" It should all compete for your attention.

Over time I've come to agree with her - you need to be excited by your clothes. After all, they cost time and money to acquire, and time and money to maintain. It is truly disheartening to yet again wash, and iron, and put away a pair of trousers that you only wear because they don't show the baby sick. For starter's that's probably costing you several quid every wash cycle, which would be better invested in new trousers.

If you have a low income, and you truly can't afford to replace those trousers, then they just have to stay, but anyone above this level, think again. If it doesn't excite you, actually excite you, chuck it.

It doesn't suit your lifestyle

In many ways, lifestyle appropriateness is the key criteria for clothing. For no matter how beautiful, how gorgeous, how flattering and how well made something is, if you have no occasion to wear it, it is a waste of space.

I fully admit to being a sucker in this category. I LOVE fine fabrics - thin batistes and linens, silk velvets and soft suedes. I love high heels and kitten heels and my entirely transparent wedding-day shoes. I love vintage clothes with their intricate detailing, complicated seams and fabrics that no longer exist. And this is not my life.

My life is practical - walking the dog, lighting fires, cooking, getting the wood in, working at a desk in an underheated office. My deep gravel driveway strips the leather from high heels and if I don't wear my Uggs, my feet freeze in winter. I never go out except to dinner.

Getting rid of my inappropriate clothing was very hard, but it was also liberating, and if I can do it, you can do it too. Much of it will go in the 'pending' box rather than the 'chuck it now' box, but after a year, take that box to the charity shop without opening it and you probably won't be able to remember what was in it in the first place.

It doesn't flatter you

Again, we've all got shedloads of this stuff. Stuff we bought because it was on sale, stuff we bought when we were a lot younger and cuter, stuff we heard was a classic and wouldn't date, stuff we got because we needed something for a specific occasion and couldn't find the right thing, so the wrong thing would do in a pinch.

So again, think for a moment what this clothing is saying about you. "I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm fat. I'm out of date. I'm - frankly - mutton dressed as lamb. Just look at me."

Don't DO this to yourself. If every time you wear it, people ask how you're feeling, chuck it. If people look surprised when you tell them your age (and not in a good way), chuck it. If it makes your breasts look like twin battleships have docked, chuck it.

Colours and styles I'll deal with another time, but admitting you've gotten too old for a garment is very galling. It happened to me the other day in the supermarket. I was wearing a lovely vintage coat that my friend Ruby gave me and I love this thing - the cut, the colour, the way it makes my waist look truly tiny. But with my long blonde hair and my black beret, a man who'd been loitering at my shoulder looked quite stunned (horrified might be a better word) when he came round the front and saw my face. Ahhh... Time to practise what I preach?