26 May 2009

Loved and finally lost

Our cat Lucy has finally lost her battle with VAS.

Lucy I haven't blogged for a few days and will probably not blog for a few more.

Lucy has died. We had her euthanised on Sunday afternoon at 4.00pm.

As every pet owner knows, there are few things that make you feel so horribly, stupidly, helplessly impotent as watching a beloved animal die. The fact that you almost always have to make the decision yourself is the worst. In the end, putting them out of their misery is the last act of kindness you can show them.

I wish this got easier over time, but in all honesty I think it gets worse. Lucy is the fifth cat we have lost. One we found dead, one died naturally when we couldn't get a vet to him, and the other two we had euthanised - one with heart failure and another with a brain tumour. But I feel worse about Lucy than any of the others so far.

Perhaps it's because I have nursed her for three and a half months, knowing that every day of that was precious and that we would lose her eventually. It is like watching the lights of an oncoming train and being unable to get off the track.

As her mobility decreased, we made steps for her, and memory-foam beds, and raised feeding stations, changed her medic Lucy cairn ation for stronger pain relief, economised on our own food to pay for better food for her.

We developed an incredibly close bond with her as she became more dependent - she was happy to be carried upstairs and down (we didn't want to let her walk in case she broke a leg), and to be placed outside in the sunshine. She carried on bravely to the end, hunting butterflies and eating the other cats' discarded mice.

We saw her through several surgeries, and two attacks from our other cats. When she wanted something, she let us know it in no uncertain terms, and daily she became more kissy and snuggly and purry, cuddling into my arms every night.

On Sunday she couldn't speak to me and didn't want to be touched, and I knew she had had enough. She was euthanised 40 minutes later and since then, the DH and I have both felt physically sick.

We have buried her in the orchard, under this pile of stones - not just a memorial, but a practical measure to prevent next-door's dog digging her up like he did with the last one.

I will be back in a day or two, when I'm feeling more compos mentis.

By Trish

Comments (10)

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Melanie
Posts: 10

Virtual hugs
Reply #10 on : Tue May 26, 2009, 13:15:17

I remember the same sick feeling when we lost our last cat, and I'm even more deeply attached to the two I have now. They're like family and I think it's right to grieve when they go. At least she had the most wonderful care and love. I find that focusing on the happy memories helps.

Liz Griffin
Posts: 10

lucy
Reply #9 on : Tue May 26, 2009, 13:38:02

I too had to bear this heartache a little less than a year ago, when i said goodbye to my beloved 20 year old silver persian Maya. I knew for two years that it was coming and knew that when it did it would be heartbreaking. But, yes it is the last act of kindness you can do for a beloved pet. A last act of love.

City Girl
Posts: 10

Re: Loved and finally lost
Reply #8 on : Tue May 26, 2009, 16:05:19

I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you were able to spend those three precious months with her.

Peter Timmer
Posts: 10

Lucy
Reply #7 on : Wed May 27, 2009, 03:39:49

Looks like Lucy got buried in paradise! Sorry for your loss, and hope to see you soon

P
x

Shelley
Posts: 10

Lucy
Reply #6 on : Wed May 27, 2009, 06:57:09

Sorry to hear about your loss. She was very lucky to have an owner willing to provide so much care in her illness.

Susan Griner
Posts: 10

Re: Loved and finally lost
Reply #5 on : Wed May 27, 2009, 08:53:23

My sincerest condolences to you and your husband. I know how sad losing a pet can be.
Susan

Dianne
Posts: 10

Re: Loved and finally lost
Reply #4 on : Wed May 27, 2009, 10:39:59

Following Lucys progress these past few months has been bitter sweet. To hear of the love and devotion you and Steve have put into making her happy and comfortable has been very reassuring to me but also tough as we went through something similar 2 years ago. We spent loads of money and did everything we could to take care of our dog. Someone once made a hurtful remark about wasting money and that he was just a dog. While he lived with us he had a good life (he was an abused and abandoned adult doberman when he came to my husband), even our butcher commenting he was a lucky dog for all the treats I would cook for him - tongue, kidneys, liver, etc. When he was on his way downhill we ordered his favorite food, pizza, or gave him his own steak and it would give him reason to live. Finally, one day he let us know it was time. And we ordered another pizza for him that night and the next morning picked up McDonalds for breakfast and sat in a park on our way to the vet. We held a wake for him the night we picked up his ashes and friends showed up to celebrate his life and share stories. It was touching.
Reading about your last few months with Lucy have reminded me of our last few months with Kayman. I have reminisced and thought of all the wonderful times and sent silent thoughts that you two would be okay. It wasn't easy and we shed many tears.
I am grateful for the measures we took and hearing your story has helped me to know we are not alone. There are people out there like us who love their animals and they are our family.
Your plot for her is lovely and my thoughts are with you both.
Hugs,
Dianne

Woodgirl
Posts: 10

your loss
Reply #3 on : Wed May 27, 2009, 18:03:43

I am so sorry for your loss. Those of us who have loved and lost animal friends know what you are going through. It sounds like Lucy had a full & happy life with wonderful human companions to care for her.

Susie
Posts: 10

Re: Loved and finally lost
Reply #2 on : Sat May 30, 2009, 09:33:34

Hi Trish

So very sorry to read that Lucy has gone to the higher plane. What a lucky girl she was to have had so much love during her life. It never gets easier, does it? But it is a privilege to be able to help them on their way when they are ready to go.RIP Lucy.

Mike
Posts: 10

Vas
Reply #1 on : Mon June 01, 2009, 13:35:21

I know nothing about your family, but I feel so badly for your loss.

My little family currently has a precious kitty who is also fighting VAS and is more than likely in her final weeks or days of the battle.

May you find peace.