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Archive for May, 2008

California to permit gay marriage

The California supreme court has ruled that homosexual couples have the constitutional right to marry

In a landmark ruling, California yesterday became the second US state, after Massachussetts, to permit full gay marriage. In doing so, it placed discrimination on the grounds of sexuality on the same level as that of racial discrimination.

The court came to its decision on a four to three verdict, striking down two state laws that had limited marriages to unions between a man and a woman. Other state high courts, including New Jersey, New York and Washington have considered the question of same-sex marriage in recent years, but have stopped short of striking down state laws forbidding it. The Connecticut Supreme Court is expected to give a ruling shortly shortly.

Chief Justice Ronald M George, in a statement for the majority, said that given the historic, cultural, symbolic and constitutional significance of marriage, the state could not limit its availability to opposite-sex couples.

“In view of the substance and significance of the fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship, the California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples,” said the judge.

Lawyers for the state (opposing gay marriage) identified two interests to justify reserving the term ‘marriage’ for heterosexual unions — tradition and the will of the majority but Chief Justice George said neither was sufficient. “As an historical matter,” he said, “in this state marriage has always been restricted to a union between a man and a woman. But tradition alone does not justify the denial of a fundamental constitutional right.”

Bans on interracial marriage, he pointed out, were also sanctioned by the state for many years and California was the first state to overturn them, in the 1948 Perez vs Sharp ruling.

About 110,000 same-sex couples live in California and although laws exist to give gay couples rights similar to marriage, most felt that these were still discriminatory.

Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who opposes gay marriage, has stated that he respects the ruling and does not support a constitutional amendment to overturn it.

Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, stated: “Today’s ruling affirms that committed couples, gay and straight, should not be denied the duties, obligations and protections of marriage. This decision is a vital affirmation to countless California couples - straight and gay - who want to make, and have made, a lifelong commitment to take care of and be responsible for each other.”

If all goes well, this means gay couples should be able to marry in about a month. Among those to benefit from the new ruling will be high-profile couple Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi. DeGeneres announced their intention to marry during taping of her talkshow yesterday, which will be aired today.

Europe lags behind California, with only Belgium, the Netherlands and Spain permitting same-sex marriage. It is also permitted in Canada and South Africa.

May 16, 2008 By: trish Category: Life issues No Comments →

Book review - Staging Your Comeback

Staging Your Comeback by Christopher Hopkins arrived yesterday and I read it straight through.

The book’s really aimed at the post-menopausal reader - the youngest women featured are about 48, and most are in their mid-50s to 60s (Rici, seen here before and after, is 63). But don’t let that put you off if you’re any age over 35 - there’s still a lot of valuable information in here, especially if you’re feeling frumpy or in a rut.

Christopher Hopkins is known as ‘the makeover guy’ but he started out as a hairdresser. Importantly, that means he’s dealt with clients and he understands how (and why) women can be totally intransigent about changing their look. He can also be merciless, which is useful. Camp as a nine-bob note and amusingly full of himself, he started out believing himself an ugly duckling and didn’t begin to blossom till later in life. That is something he and I share, and I note that he fully understands how received messages from your childhood can hamper your personal style long after you become an adult.

The book is designed to be interactive with a website he’s set up, so you can give feedback and suggestions (possibly for later editions), and also download forms to fill in, which also figure in the back of the book. You’ll need these because throughout there are a fun bunch of quizzy tickbox things to fill in (I love this kind of stuff) to work out your style personality, your ’shadow’ personality, your body shape etc. Interestingly, he looks as closely at your horizontal shape as at your vertical shape, which is rare. This is the kind of thing you only tend to learn about when you sew garments, but it’s useful to understand how to dress when you’re long in the upper body but short in the waist, for instance. Many women’s shapes change with age - protruding belly, flatter backside etc - and he deals very well with these issues.

There’s a lot of sound advice here on how to update the look you’ve always had: how if you’ve always been a classic dresser you can end up boring; if you’re a romantic or dramatic dresser you can end up as mutton dressed as lamb; if you’re an ‘innovative’ you need to tone down your zaniness with age. He doesn’t deal with fashion trends but focuses instead on clothes. The quizzes enable you to quickly identify what kind of dresser you are, and pointers are given to help you find your way in the future.

In case you were wondering, I came out as a classic dresser with an innovative ’shadow’ side and I think that’s very true. Two thirds of my wardrobe is well-cut basics and the other third is vintage clothes and handmade jewellery. I also scored quite high on casual, and that’s because of my lifestyle, which is a jeans and t-shirts sort of life.

The advice in the make-up section you can mostly get elsewhere, except you will not see anywhere a better description (with pix) of how to shade your eyes if you have drooping eyelids. This is the thing that sends thousand of women screaming for a blepharoplasty, but here you’re shown a really great technique to hide it. He’s also adamant about softer lip colour, which is very sound. In general, though, I found the make up too heavy, which is something I notice all the time in US publications - European women simply don’t wear this much slap. He doesn’t mention products at all, so if you want this kind of advice, go to ‘How not to look old’ by Charla Krupp, which details the best foundations, primers, blusher and eye makeup.

The section on hair is golden - he really does know about cut and colour and their transformative effect. And he is blunt about grey hair - it makes you look older. Striking maybe, interesting maybe, but older - it’s your choice. Many of the haircuts featured show an uplifting effect to counteract a drooping face which I found very interesting.

The before and after section at the back, featuring mainly women in their 50s, is so transformative you can hardly believe they’re the same people (would you guess that Nancy, above, in her frumpy cardi was the same woman as the babe on the right?). No surgery and no Botox - nothing other than clothes, make-up, hair and sometimes some weight loss and these women rewind the clock by 20 years. This section is truly inspirational and it’s a relief to see these makeovers done on women of normal height and weight.

Above all, it’s a peppy book - upbeat about ’second act’ women and their potential, and worth reading to buck yourself up (and to make you feel ashamed you don’t spend more time in the gym). Probably the next-best thing to having a personal consultation.

Staging Your Comeback is available from UK Amazon.co.uk | US Amazon.com

May 15, 2008 By: trish Category: beauty, books, fashion 2 Comments →

Hoick them up and point them in the right direction

I found this great bra site the other day that offers proper supportive bras - Undercover Experience.

Best of all, for non-UK readers, they do free international shipping.

The reason I was searching online was that I went down a cup size recently, which has meant chucking out all my existing bras. From Ebay I’ve ordered a couple more Doreens (God, what a name…) in red and pink, but they do show a bit under t-shirts, so I was on the hunt for some good support bras with smoother seamlines and no show-through.

Why support bras? Well, to reiterate what I wrote a while back. As you get older, you may find you need more support than before because your breast tissue softens and slackens, especially after menopause. This happens to women whatever their breast size, but bra manufacturers seem to be unaware of this, the idiots. You try getting a support bra in anything under a D cup. Even C cups are rare. Although Fantasie, for instance, offers B-cups in Belle, Cally and Bridgette, Figleaves don’t stock them.

I felt stranded. But enter the Royce bra company.

I must admit, I hadn’t heard of this firm, but a search for ’support bra’ on Undercover Experience brought up half a dozen designs of theirs. The link above is to their own website, which shows you the full range (prices are cheaper, but I’m not sure about shipping). The nice thing about Royce is that they’re clearly specialists. They do nursing bras, post-mastectomy bras, training bras and sports bras, and they bring all that knowledge and technology to their ‘Comfort’ range of everyday bras. All of their bras are wireless, which I now prefer (after 30-odd years of wearing wires).

Just look at the construction in this ‘Grace’ bra, which is described as ‘firm’ support and goes from B to G. OK, it’s not sexy, but it’s built right. A proper bra frame (the band that goes around your body) with four-section cups set into it - that gives you masses of uplift. I have never before seen a four-section cup in a B cup. Wide straps to hoick ‘em up there. A proper seam up the centre of the cup (forget moulded cups, ladies, once you’re over 40 and look for this central seam - it’s crucial). A side panel to push your boobs into the middle.

There are also deep sides and three hooks at the back, which helps prevent back fat (the flimsier the bra, the more it shows under clothing - if you want invisibility, look for a more substantial bra). The only fault of this bra is that it comes in white only, but that’s pretty minor. And by the way, it’s also available as a post-mastectomy design.

For medium support I also liked the look of this bra, the Jasmine, which goes from B to F. The cups don’t have the vertical seam, but they still look pretty sturdy, and the flesh colour is an advantage under clothes. I have ordered this to wear as a t-shirt bra, so we’ll have to see if there’s show-through (I phoned Undercover Experience and they were very helpful, btw). If you’re above an F or G cup, Royce also have designs that go up to a J - and even a 40L in the Jasmine nursing bra.

Undercover Experience also sell other support bras from Charnos and Berlei in my size, but as my third bra I plumped for this Fantasie Ella bra for something really pretty (and because it was on sale). After all, it’s nice to have good everyday bras, but if you can have something cute too, what a bonus. As you can see, it has all the major ingredients - proper bra frame, wide straps and full three-section cups. I haven’t tried this kind of bra before with a wire, so I’ll have to see how I get on.

May 14, 2008 By: trish Category: fashion 6 Comments →

High heels and glitz for Sex in the City - the movie

The girls pull out all the stops for the Sex in the City premiere

I could hardly let today go by without a mention of the Sex in the City premiere that took place in London yesterday.

The stars were out in force to promote the new film, expected to be in their finest rig, and indeed they were. It would be nice to have pix, but I can’t find any that are copyright free, so click here to see pictures.

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May 13, 2008 By: trish Category: fashion 2 Comments →

Making a good end

Writer Nuala O’Faolain died as she lived - independent to the last

One of Ireland’s best-loved writers, Nuala O’Faolain, 68, died on Saturday. She made a remarkable end.

Diagnosed with terminal cancer just eight weeks ago, she refused chemotherapy and instead embarked on a journey around Europe to say goodbye to her favourite pleasures.

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May 12, 2008 By: trish Category: Life issues 3 Comments →

Getting hairier by the minute

The girls and I got together the other night and at one point the conversation turned to facial hair

As women age, and particularly as oestrogen levels drop, the testosterone that’s naturally in our bodies gets the upper hand and we can start developing hair patterns like men’s. Than means our head hair can thin, which affects an astounding 40 per cent of women, but also our facial hair can get thicker.

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May 12, 2008 By: trish Category: beauty 2 Comments →

In the Fritzl case, more questions than answers

In the story of Elizabeth Fritzl, there are questions that people are reluctant to ask - or, at times, even to think about

Aside from Josef Fritzl’s lovely little trips to sex resorts in Thailand, and the fact that he bought sexy clothing and underwear while there for his ‘bit on the side’ (whom we now presume to have been his daughter), there are other issues.

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May 10, 2008 By: trish Category: Life issues 1 Comment →

The big summer wardrobe changeover

I’ve been putting it off, but with temperatures rising into the high 20s, it’s time to change my wardrobe from winter to summer

Some women have a clothing rail, and can just swap summer and winter from one end to the other, while others wear the same thing all year round, but I must admit I wear radically different clothes in different seasons.

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May 09, 2008 By: trish Category: fashion No Comments →

What does a monster see when he looks in the mirror?

Josef Fritzl is now protesting about his portrayal in the media, saying his treatment of his offspring ‘could have been worse’

Astonishing to believe, but Josef Fritzl doesn’t think of himself as a bad guy. But then I dare say the same could be said of Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot and any number of Nazis, Colombian drug lords, Argentinian generals and serial rapists worldwide.

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May 08, 2008 By: trish Category: Life issues 3 Comments →

The swimdress - another beach alternative for women over 40

Further to my article on swimwear I found these babies the other day - swimdresses

Orvisfloral2Wearing a tankini, high-waist bottoms and a swimskirt is a great chop-and-change option for the beach, but if you can only pack one cossie and you like a bit of cover, you could think about a swimdress. As you can see, a swimdress is a more forgiving alternative to a swimsuit, and if you pick your design right, you can have rather looser coverage than wearing a swimskirt - useful if you’ve got tummy issues.

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May 07, 2008 By: trish Category: fashion 2 Comments →


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